Friday, December 27, 2013

So ummmm..xmas huh

Shamelessly lifted off of AHTBM :

In stark observance of what the holiday season has become I present the exhibit to the left. From now on let it be known that it's no longer better to give than to receive but what you get. My guess is that these little turds where shit heels the entire year and got not quite what they wanted. Hey here is a little fucking tip. Want something specific? Go out and goddamn earn it.

This is another reason why I am not a sheeple and will not ever have a book face account. Big brother is watching and someone somewhere is keeping score.

So let's try not to think about folks who lost someone tragically, starving or living on the streets during the holidays...oh no...let's whine and cry over consumerism.  

Hope everyone is well and you all have a happy new year. Thanks for reading.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Continuing the holiday theme

For those of you out there who don't know. I have taken a NOLS WUMP (wilderness upgrade for the medical professional) class and recerted a few times. This is a great class for those of us who are outdoorsy inclined and are medical professionals. I cannot say how much fun and learning goes on in this class, once I wrap up nursing school I plan on retaking the class AGAIN. Anyways enjoy the goofy outdoorsy types and their nod to the holiday jingle. Guarnteed to bring a smile to yer face!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Timely and true.

I TRY to post this every year:

From the now defunct calamities of nature strip.

Thanks for reading have a great holiday season!

Monday, December 16, 2013

The Keating

I went and did a rare thing last night. I actually went to a show by myself. It's an odd thing for me to go to a show now-a-days even more rare for me to go by myself. I've always viewed this activity as a more social thing to do with friends, not a solo venture. But it was to go see the wonderful cellist Zoe Keating. She has turned into a personal fave of mine since moving here to Atlanta, her obvious technical savvy and talent in string instrument is obvious. Simply put her music calms me, I listen to it when I run and during stressful times over the semester.

It was a small venue but a classy kind of place. I never know what to expect out of venues anymore in Atlanta. Easy parking easy to get in and hell they even had good beers at the not so busy bar. Amazing. So I went and had an easy listening time. I was kind of taken aback by the easy going nature and willingness of Keating to engage the audience. I did not expect anything less the way she presents herself on her website is very down to earth. I guess outside of orchestras I've never been to a strings show before and did not know what to expect.

I stayed through the entire set and only left when she said she was going to come down and talk with the audience. Which was an awesome idea, but it intimidates me especially when it's an artist I like. I'm the same way with Rollins shows. He's one of my faves but man I will never be able to screw up enough courage to talk to the guy. When I met Fugazi in PHX years ago it was a great experience but I felt I was way in over my head. What do you say to the folks who inspire you? All I can summon up is ""

Anyways I bailed and headed over to EAV (east atlanta village) to see some old work friends who now live in California but came back out for a visit. I admit that I have a certain disdain for EAV, I've had a couple of bad experiences there and it's marred my perception of the place. It boils down to poor service, I want a drink or food, I have money where is the problem? Oddly enough going to EAV late in the evening on a sunday is a perfect time, especially when you're sitting with 4-6 other people. Ahhh that gets the wait staff attention. I tip appropriately for the let's say very hipster service.

All in all it was a good night. I got to see an artist I really like, and got to visit with some old work friends.

Thanks for reading.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

A xmas gift request & ZK!

 In case you were doing some last minute shopping and wanted to know what I wanted for the holidays, you can find it here .

Tonight I FINALLY get to see Zoe Keating prob one of my fave muscians over the last few years. I won't slap a video up here cause I have posted a couple of vids lately. BUT, do your self a favor and look her up. 

Thanks for reading.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Dreading downtime

 Twas the night before finals....ahhh shit...I'm not falling into that trap...

I'm not going to write about how I'm going to be taking my last final of the semester tomorrow and that really I'm sick of the material and worrying about it. I've studied since Friday for the damn thing so now I'm just taking a step back from the work. 

I'm glad the semester is over.

But with the end of the semester brings a whole other set of probs. Which I would rather avoid but I have to deal with. I just want to wrap up all my schooling, do my job and ride my bike and not necessarily in that order. Although at times it sucks there is a simplicity to life when school is happening. People and downtime makes it all sorts of complicated and weird. 

I feel like little if anything will be simple this winter break. I totally hate being this negative but well right now outside of wrapping up school and starting Nursing School in January I have little going on.
I sat down thinking I had a lot of things to put down but well it just seems not to be coming out that way. 

I guess lately I was looking for a sign that hey maybe I'm doing something worth a rat fuck, that maybe reaching out to folks is worth while. It's not. I just get shit on for the effort. I get that feeling more and more in life especially around the breaks. That no one wants me around and little that I do matters. I'm constantly amazed at work how I'm marginalized that "You matter" but no one listens or answers simple questions. I thought that maybe my status would change a little with my acceptance into Nursing School. It hasn't. School wants to just suck money outta me and family well my older sis means well and does her absolute best but I get the picture that she scratches her head a lot over me. Mom...well she's a whole other negative depressing entry later on down the line if at all. The only friends that talk to me live hundreds and even thousands of miles away.

I just wanna lie in the floor and be drunk for a couple of days but I got no where for that shit. So as usual with these breaks I just gotta suck it up and put on a happy face and not be mad or upset. So I'll turn inward and maybe use this to make myself better for my own sake. Times like these makes me miss my old home. Things will get better, I'm positive of that. How I don't know.

Well I gotta get to the pillows and maybe my mind won't race so much tonight. Thanks for reading.


Saturday, December 7, 2013

Silly season 2013

Well friends and dear readers Christmas, I mean Xmas oops I mean the Silly Season is upon us once again. This is when we see America gone wild during the 6 weeks that marks the typical American holiday season. I'm no longer angry with the holiday season, it has evolved to a deep sigh and an indifference. Mostly for me it means wrapping up school for the year and working more shifts before the next semester starts.

It means that I'll have free free time and well it seems like I do not do too well with free time. With that in mind as I mentioned before I picked up extra shifts at work. I'll also be doing my 6th or 7th EMT refresher, honestly I don't know I have lost count. I'm also going to dust off the Voodoo and do a little bit of easy mountain biking. Nothing too strenuous or fancy at least I HOPE to be able to get on a bike in December.

I also have to prep for the next semester in school. I have a chronic problem with putting too much on my plate when I see I'm going to have a stretch of free time on the calender. It'll all get ironed out over the month I suppose. Well I just wanted to drop a quick entry before I got started on studying for my last final of the semester. Have a safe and awesome holiday season everyone!

Thanks for reading.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

A Saturday.

I saw this and wanted to share:

Found here:

Sometimes....sometimes life hands you little nuggets of info that just plain thrills you. Knowledge is power...thank you internet...THANK YOU!!!

 "Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you."

Besides ain't that a damn awesome pic?

Thanks for reading

Sunday, November 17, 2013


Now I want a dog:

Bark 4 Beer

Semester is winding up and now with the knowledge that I'll do OK in my classes (I'll pass with B's or C's which I worked my ass off for) I'm getting easily distracted from studying.

I find myself day dreaming about having actual free time without the specter of studying hanging over my head. Not that I'll have much of it. I have picked up full time hours at work for December after finals.

Also FINALLY I got my sister to agree to get internet at the house so no more sweating out doing assignments here at home by burning up so much data. I hope everyone is well. The silly season is just around the corner!


Thanks for reading.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Me want!!!

I've been meaning to replace the hatchet in the truck for awhile now. Any body got 300 extra bucks they can let me have for this tool?!

Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

I'm in!

Just a quick thing about school. I got my acceptance to nursing school yesterday. Relived that I finally got it and got in on my first try. I still have to pass my current classes this semester but the pressure of not knowing is off somewhat.

All this not knowing pressure and pressure of academics has taken it's toll. My BP & resting HR have jumped 20 points in six months. I am hypertensive and tachycardiac. My diet sucks, I'm starting to work on that. I do know I need to exercise more my efforts have fallen off drastically since the beginning of the semester.

Nursing school ain't gonna make shit easier either, fact is it's gonna make it all harder. I have set a goal to TRY to get my vitals WNL by this time next month, the primary reason is health another is pride I just don't wanna turn in a physical paper with shitty vitals plus well we will be taking each others vitals in a couple of months. That means I have to do a little bit each day.

Alrighty that's all I got for the moment. Thanks for reading.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Putting things into perspective.

The last entry was a whiny and self centered, I openly admit it. Awhile back I ran across this video some place on the interwebs and was floored by the story:

THIS really puts things into perspective for me. I watch it from time to time never dwelling on it but rather in awe of not only the courage it takes for standing up and taking the beating BUT also being a follow through guy no matter the circumstance.

The video went "viral" from what I understand It gave the project "because I said I would" a ton of credibility as well. Check out the project and give it some thought on how powerful a promise that is kept can be.

I wanted to balance out the whining with something a bit more real and gritty. Ya know...put things into perspective.

Thanks for reading.

Post Script:

 Read the full story here:

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The semester needs to be over.

This is a bitch session about college...

-I have roughly 7 weeks before the semester is MERCIFULLY over.

-I have around 3 weeks until I hear about if I got into nursing school.

-At this point I ALMOST don't care if I get into nursing school or not.

-I have worked intensely hard for mediocre grades in both A&P and microbiology, it's a first for me in college to make D's and F's on tests I prepared for.

-If I get told one more time I am being too hard on myself my eyes will pop out...literally. 

- I have tried old study methods without success. Tried new study methods without success. I'm now considering animal sacrifice just because I have run out of options.

- I look at all the material for 8-10 hours a day.

-I have CONSIDERED just dropping out and being a stinking ER tech for the rest of my life and learn to be content with it.

-I feel incredibly stupid. My grades reflect it...stupid hurts.

-The A&P professor was reviewing the last exam with the class and said "If you missed question 25 you did not study." Of course I missed the question. I replied "Doctor you mean to tell me that I did not study for the last FOUR days!? Then what was I doing?!" She had no reply to that.

-The amount of work we have to do in A&P is crushing 3-4 lab assignments per lab day is just the tip of the ice berg.

-I honestly see little use in putting forth the effort now. I am very discouraged by my showing this semester, I had such high hopes.

-I thought the climbing club would bring some relief. I was VERY wrong about that too. I have tried compromise. I have tried begging and pleading but some how our adviser seems intent on having meetings when none of the members can show up to climb. Then pushing for hard to plan trips in the mean time. I started something and I'm doing it poorly and cannot finish it. It's a quagmire with seemingly no way out.

- I admit it I'm probably a retarded gazelle.

-At this point I think I should have went to paramedic school or stuck with working on bicycles.

That's all I have to bitch about at the moment. I have to go to the local hardware store and buy tarps to cover the truck's tonneau cover that was on the truck and somehow move it into the basement of the house. I also have an A&P extra credit thing to go to. I'd rather go to the nursing question and answer session but I need every point I can get in A&P because "C" and higher are considered passing grades for the nursing program here.

I realize this is a long list of first world problems:

 I need a dose of 60 cc's of HTFU stat.

Thanks for reading.

Post Script...

Ran into A&P professor today. She insisted I talk to her in her office. Long story short...she told me I take the class TOO seriously.

*slaps forehead with palm of hand*


I am clueless...

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Coming to Atlanta.

FINALLY, after literally (yes LITERALLY) years of waiting Zoe Keating comes to Atlanta for a performance. I've been a bit of a fan for a little while now. I find her music very soothing and very ideal to listen to especially in the woods running:

I knew she was coming to the A-T-L in December but I was not certain when. Naturally I was concerned that she was going to show up in the early part of the month during finals and I would miss this great chance to see her in action. Thanks to Mug for telling me that a date had been set. I bought my ticketand plan on going pretty much no matter what. If you're interested in what Zoe Keating is about check out her site here:

It's Sunday morning and a bit tough to get going. I have tried to steer clear of coffee lately because it was starting to really upset my stomach even holding myself to one cup a day. I've been off of it for about a month now. I have switched to brewing up tea in the morning but I have found amazingly enough for me that tea now-a-days is not caffeinated. I know celestial seasonings has "Morning Thunder" but the only time I can get to it is when I am up in Atlanta at one whore foods up on Ponce. I know it's the age of the internets and I can just order it on line but geez. Yup one spoiled american right here. As an ex-girlfriend and I use to say "That's a first world problem"

Since I am talking about first world probs I just thought of Mayday. She has made it to her destination to a land locked Muslim state in Southeast Asia. Mayday and I have been friends for a long time and keep in touch via text and the occasional call, text mostly. She's been up in DC for awhile since before I came back to Georgia. Mayday is not a woman I am pining over but really a true friend we're like only a year apart in age. Naturally I am worried about her, it's one thing to think on friends who are living in this country and folks who travel overseas to relatively peaceful countries it's another to know that someone is going to a war zone and although somewhat safe still in a WAR ZONE where car bombs tear down entire blocks and IED's still maim and kill our service personnel.

It's just strange not hearing something from her every few days, I've grown used to it.

I owe a lot to Mayday. She got me a job, gave me furniture and bought drinks. In many ways she has been a confidant when it comes to women and what to do about them. She and I are a lot alike in that respect...there has not been a relationship yet that either of us has not fucked up. Don't worry it's all positive things I think about Mayday. She'll be back next year hopefully before the fighting season there really gets going. I'll make it a point to get to where ever she is so we can have some drinks and she can decompress with an old friend.

Until then I need to remember in my petty complaints about academia that at least this is a first world problem, although inconvenient it is not a life ending or altering experience. Think on that next time you're bitching about having to wait an extra minute at a stop light or when there is only one LONG line open at the grocery store. Take care Mayday, I'm pulling for ya.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Book Face

I have been asked again recently why I don't do face book. Could it be all the unnecessary slap fights? The silly postings and lame excuses "I just keep it to talk to friends/family across the country." Funny thing is that I keep up with friends all over the planet without the benefit of social networking and oh my it's not that difficult.

Full disclosure here. I did do myspace years and years ago but after awhile the cons definitely outweighed the pros. I just got tired of it and the encompassing drama that surrounded it. When bookface came around and people started to jump on that particular bandwagon I decided to avoid that particular social phenomenon. Sure I miss out on the occasional "neat" thing but really it's worth the price to NOT have the horse shit that surrounds it.

That's just me though. Perhaps I listened to "Data Control" by Husker Du too much as a kid:

A nine digit number
For every living soul
That is all they talk about
At Data Control
They know everything about you
Keeping secrets is too hard
Your life is all recorded for you
In holes punched in computer cards
Data Control (digital readout)
Data Control (perforated feedout)
Data Control (microfilm files)
Data Control (1984 style)
A multinational corporation
A stockholder's dream
A nightmare of diversity
A defense system so supreme
Too technical to talk about
Too complex for layman's brains
It's enough to make you paranoid
Or drive you crazy losers sane

Alright I'll step off my soap box. I got too much shit to do.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Damn cold

Youngest nephew sneezes and coughs into his hand and touches everything within reach AND it appears to me that he hardly ever washes his hands. With that said I will blame him because I caught his cold. Plus I am stressed so my immune system is not really working up to par either. Until my immune system really cranks up I am dealing with congestion and a scratchy throat that makes me cough. It's a low level misery that we are all familiar with in our lives.

The stress is from school. I won't go into details but A&P could be going better.

I keep telling myself every day that I am going to get onto the trainer tomorrow and ride for half an hour.

But I don't.

My job is school now and when I get home in the evening all I want to do is just eat, shower and sleep. I'm at school five days a week with class on three of those days. The other two I am in the library because it's a fairly quite space and it's got wifi which I need for my Microbiology class to watch videos and do homework on.

I'll keep trying to get on the trainer or run get some consistency a regular routine, it's tough in these situations.

That's all I got for the moment. Thanks for reading.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Aug '13

I deeply apologize for not taking the time to write earlier but I have been "busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest."

-N.C. Trip

I'd post photos but really most were in the rain. The key word for the trip was WET. It rained a majority of the time and did not stop until I was headed south again. the trip was a fun experience but it could have went much better. Aside from the rain I had a problem with SOMETHING every day. If it was not running a bear out of camp it was a flat tire within one minute on the trail. If it wasn't a  flat it was a terrifying hour of having the truck stuck in the mud (Thanks Chris and Frenchie for helping me out). It was not a horrible trip. The camper shell provided a nice dry environment for the near constant rain. If I get a chance I'll post pics later. I did discover a very wonderful campsite while there. In the future I believe I may go ride Tsali next time. Not every trip can go smoothly, fun times nonetheless.


Almost immediately after the trip I started back to college. I have been back in for a week and a half now. I am busy with two big important science classes (Microbiology and A&P 2) I'm also waiting to hear if I made it into nursing school. Nothing on the nursing school front until late September at the least. I already have an exam coming up on Thursday for Microbiology. I'm constantly in one of my books it seems. I may regret saying this later but I like it like that. I have structure and a mission now, with those things in place it leaves less time for getting into mischief of some sort or another.

I have so much more to write but I got up early this Sunday morning to wrap up flash cards for my up coming Microbiology exam. Thanks for reading. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

July '13

I have not posted in a bit because I have been busy. A couple of projects and a few distractions have popped up on my horizon as of late just a few weeks before the fall semester is set to begin.

Distractions pretty much are not worth mentioning but will end once the fall semester starts. 

Projects on the other hand:

1) Thor and the pool.

Recently here in the rural county homestead we have talked about getting rid of the eyesore of and in ground pool that has turned into a brackish pond. Frogs, turtles and mosquitoes are in this in ground pool/pond. Finally one day we decided to get to it. Here at the homestead we have plenty of time but no money.

B.I.L brilliantly redneck engineered a pump to get the water out of the deep end of the pool. I went to the local home improvement store and bought the biggest sledge hammer I could find. We found that the concrete in the pool falls apart fairly easily under the weight of a 16 pound sledge hammer.

The sledge hammer I named "Thor". Thor dishes out pain to both the concrete and the user. I am able to do 10-15 swings with it until I have to stop. Rest for a minute or two and repeat, all told I can last about an hour swinging Thor until I gotta sit down.I'm smart enough to only work at it in the morning or late afternoon.

There did come a point where the sludge in the bottom of the deep end of the pool had to come out. That fell to me. the reason why is because B.I.L. injured his ankle and foot years ago many bones were fused and I'm certain there is a fair amount of metal in his foot & ankle. He did use a bucket and rope to get some of the sludge then I had to get in there and muck it out. And let's face it the youngest nephew who openly brags that he is lazy is not going to do such a dirty job or any job for that matter. Although he has picked up Thor a couple of times for 15-20 minutes to show he is a tough guy. He is not, but whatever.

Honestly, I don't mind disgusting smells and textures. Which is what this sludge is and was. I spent 2 hours this past Monday getting all that shit cleared out and knocked a hole in part of the bottom in case it rained again. We have gotten to the point where even if it does rain the pool will not even come close to the level it was. With all the sludge distributed to the shallow end of the pool the part of breaking up the concrete in the deep end has started.

Swinging Thor overhead is an exercise in sheer will and pain. Between Monday and Tuesdays sessions I feel I have earned a break from that work for at least a day. Progress is being made, I expect that most of the inside of the pool will be broken up appropriately by the time the fall semester starts.

Ultimately the pool will be filled in and a weeping willow will be put there. If I think to I'll take pics of the progress made so far. It ain't pretty.

2) Camper shell.

For the longest time a camper shell has sat in the yard of the rural home. It was off the back of younger nephews truck. he rejected it because "It doesn't look cool" which I admit he has a point, it's a bit beat up. But the price is right (free) and with a small investment and some luck it'll fit on the back of my truck rather nicely. I have been looking for a camper shell to go over the back of the truck for when I make trips like the one I'd like to make up to Asheville in a couple of weeks. The tonneau cover is REALLY nice and it locks but it's not very liveable.

Years ago before youngest nephew (YN) got the truck a branch or tree handed on the camper shell and dented it. A patch job was done on the hole of the shell but from what I was told it still leaked. Also the screens on the sliding windows were torn AND the shocks that howl the rear door to the camper shell are missing.

The screen and piping and the spray rubber for the leaking roof has been bought. I THINK I might have the leaks solved. I hope so that spray rubber in a can is expensive and goes way fast. B.I.L was able to find a shock for the rear window someplace and we'll get to cranking on the screen for the windows soon enough. Plus I have to get up in the camper shell and spray it out lots of dirt has gotten up in there. Again if I think to I'll post pictures of that project. I am aiming to have that done and on the truck by then end of next week. I also saw a cool idea for the tailgate that should not be too hard. 'Cause I wanna head to Asheville on 8/5.

Running continues and although I have missed some time on the trainer I feel pretty good. the sessions with Thor and the dirty pool has helped. Well the sun is starting to peak up over the horizon here and I have a very full day ahead of me.

I'll try to post more often. Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Cramps

As both of my loyal readers know one of my fave all time bands is "The Cramps" I grew up with this band during the 80's and my discovery of punk rock on the mighty album 88 up at Georgia State University.  Since it's a fave I don't listen top them too often because I just don't wanna wear them out but on occasion I get reminded of the bands awesomeness and I get into the groove of them once again.

SSK texted me yesterday and reminded me that she was listening to them and was thinking of me. Which lifted my spirits because I was working with BIL trying to fix not only Big Sis's brakes on her car but change the oil and fix the front brakes on my truck. The day ended with us taking Big Sis's van over to a mechanic to get the rear brakes fixed. Sorry off the subject there.

The Cramps.

I won't strike all nostalgic here and repeat many fun times I had listening to the band and the concerts I went to to see them. I'll let two things speak volumes the first is well a video of one of my favorite incarnations of The Cramps with Candy Del Mar in the line up. This is how I remember Lux at his finest stage mania and Ivy with awesome guitar and of course Candy Del Mar just! It's how I exactly remember Cramps shows. It's right at 7 min long, enjoy:

Another bit is a longish interview with a British magazine Cramps Interview . I urge you to take the time and read the interview and watch the video you'll be rewarded.

The question that might get asked is how in the hell does this music influence me today. One way is pure escapism. Listen to any of their songs and you can't help but get taken to another place. Often on many a trip to go riding the Voodoo I listened to The Cramps, the Voodoo MTB is an extension of my admiration for their music. To that degree so is my minor obsession with the whole Zombie's Run training program world. I still feel now after all these years that riding the old steel O.G. Voodoo Erzulie is a special occasion especially in the fall say around Octoberish.

So SSK thanks for mentioning The Cramps to me yesterday. If you ain't familiar with them then by all means make yerself so but know that Lux died awhile back so you missed what were the best years of live music ever to have existed.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


Like the Jimmy Carter presidency. 

Lately I have had a bout of being unmotivated and just plain lazy concerning work in general and school projects. I won’t go into them here but it’s been pretty much “Why should I give a fuck when nothing I do matters.” I’ve suffered with this type of malaise before, it’s never productive. I’ve been fighting this for a few weeks now and a recent negative experience concerning school has not helped. I’m looking for a sign or some great piece of advice but I fear I may not find it. 

I have taken charge of my life and started running and riding again. I started back on the Zombie’s Run! 5K program again. I am covering the same ground with the program I did a few months ago but now I have time to actually not feel the crush of school work rushing me through the run.  There are 3 running workouts a week, when I stopped a few months ago I had finished through week 5.1 and was primed to do work out 5.2. That’s week five workout two. Well my anal retentive obsession with school took over and I made myself busy with class. 

Anyways that was then this is now. I am now at ZR5K 2.3, it’s a hoot even though it’s all repeats for me up until 5.2 but worth it as far as I am concerned. I’m determined to finish this running program before the summer. It’s not pretty when I run but at least I’m out there slugging it out the warthog that I am, trust me I am far from the ‘hakuna matata’ disney horseshit. I got plenty o’ worries trust me.  

I have also climbed back onto the road bike via the trainer or as I call it the “pain train” I’m doing that twice a week, it too is an 8 week program that just fuckin’ HURTS. Its interval training that can last well over an hour. That program I swear by, I have been through this dvd trainer program all the way a couple of times. By the time I finish it I am a cycling BEAST. BIL and youngest nephew tried to bust my balls over not riding outside during the warm months. I told them simply that this program is more concentrated than just tooling around outside on the bike.  I’m starting to get results my legs are feeling stronger. 

I’m only 2-3 weeks into both programs, physically I feel better. Since I have free time I have done some research on other programs and got interested in the Go Ruck programs. What I gather it’s a day long episode of getting worked to TMF (total muscle failure) by ex-military types. If you’ve ever watched “Surviving the Cut” then you have a pretty clear picture of what I’m talking about at least in the physical training aspect which from what I have seen and read is mostly what the Go Ruck courses are about. I’m interested but I’m not chomping at the bit to do this well over day long torture fest. Until I decide what I’m gonna do about school after fall ’13 semester I’m not going to commit to such a thing.

I’d probably wanna and would do it solo. I have learned recently that I cannot rely on anyone around here to join me on any kind of adventures. Whether that be doing the warrior dash, going to grab a beer after work or going to a park in the A-T-L for a festival.  So I’ll do all this shit on my own from now on. I thought if I showed some folks some kindness and consideration that I would get that in return. Instead I get flakiness and folks being rather stand offish. Not that I am going to pay money for anything now until I decide on nursing school. Once I commit fully to nursing school paying to do anything besides school during the semester is out.  I learned that lesson with warrior dash this year. I get flakiness from not only the couple of work friends (that’s right two) I have left but old neighborhood friends and the ex-girlfriend who I made an effort to patch things up with, so much for all those hassles with those folks, I’m slogging on.

 I take comfort in this:

I’m on my own down here in rural Georgia but with that come certain advantages. One is that Older Sis has a small amount of land that I can just run on and find new ways to torture myself with, creek runs and draining the stagnant unused pool with a bucket come to mind. I also have access to a lot of places where there ain’t many people around and lots of country dirt and gravel road which means eventually gravel grinders on the red surly cross check. They are not up my ass about anything and I am thankful for that at least I get some peace in my life unlike whenever I spend any time at Mom’s place. I don’t feel like being even more depressed so I’ll only scratch the surface here.

That will change soon for about a month starting in July despite my better judgment, I’ll be spending weekends at my mom’s place so I can do weekend shifts at BCH. I’d like to do one big camping trip up to Asheville before the semester begins. In order to have money for that I’m going to be working every Saturday and Sunday in July and the first weekend in August. It’s just under 300 miles to Asheville and a very doable trip. I figure I’m getting into some semblance of shape so I should have a goal, MTB trip to Asheville seems appropriate. Being negative and selfish here, I half expect something to come up to fuck up my training and derail plans to Asheville. 

This is the first time in over a year I have had time to myself without someone pulling on my sleeve for something. I have found I am protective of this time I have. Nothing I do for or with anyone else matters a damn so I have relearned as of late so I might as well concentrate on me at least I’ll appreciate the effort. I hope to be able to finish my 8 weeks programs; I hope July and early August don’t drive me bonkers, I hope to go forward with school. I hope.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Jams the modern version of wonder woman

I wrote an entry about this woman a long while back.  The reason I bring her up is because she came up in a conversation the other day with my youngest nephew.  He and I were talking about where some of his peers were going for college. Youngest nephew (AKA YN) has recently graduated from high school. There is one kid among his peers who got a full scholarship to a military college. For those of you who do not know military colleges are tough to get into and tough to stay in once you get there. You have your normal college classes and then you have the military on top of that.  I have a lot of respect for the folks who go through that process; I cannot even imagine how tough and competitive it is.
My experience is limited with the military colleges. I did have an occasion to visit the Air Force academy once a while back when a friend’s relative was going there. It was surreal the place was magnificent and everybody saluted me. It’s about all I remember from being there.

Then I was set up on a date with Jams by the Jap and his wife. Jams is a graduate from the naval academy and a marine. I said it before and I’ll say it again it was and still is a tremendous pleasure to consider Jams a friend. Yeah she and I went out on a few dates but we decided to be friends, nothing was ever serious with us. It was a huge time of change for both of us. She was wrapping up being a bicycle messenger (she won the world championship of bike messengers and regularly trounced EVERYONE in the local alley cats) and moving on into teaching, I was  heading back into medicine after taking a long while off (16 months) and working in the DenCo bicycle industry after the suicide at one of the hospitals I worked at. 

She and I talked a great deal after we both moved on into our respective fields. She had a tough time adapting to teaching and I was going through my own process to get my career started again. We stayed in pretty good touch up until I moved back to Georgia. It was my fault I just did not keep up with her. I had her email but never wrote.
This leads to YN and I talking and I remembered Jams of course. I told him that military academies only take the best and brightest. I remembered one of the things Jams said to someone once when they asked her why she thought she could teach to which she replied humbly “I led men in war.” I about fell off my bike when I heard that because I was so impressed, in short she is one of the most honest, smartest, humble and most down to the earth people I ever met, then without a word will kick your ass in anything either intellectual or physical. Then to top it all off she’s not bad to look at either.
After the conversation with YN I felt bad for losing touch with this friend and kicked myself for not at least touching base with her when I went back out to DenCo this past march.  I dropped her an email and left her my contact info. One thing I forgot about Jams is when you email or text her she calls you back. She really does, it’s fantastic. She called me a couple of days later and we talked for about 30 minutes and caught up. Needless to say I was very surprised to hear from her.

She is working on getting another degree this time in psychology then eventually psychiatry in the mean time she has gotten married and still teaches math, AND yes she still rides. She chided me about my lack of cycling and encouraged me to get on the bikes more often especially since I have the summer off. Jams has over the years garnered a lot of respect from me to the point of reverence and admiration. Nothing ever came easy for her and man has she struggled with a multitude of things, she’s a warthog. She’s just damn tough and hard. What makes her so amazing is that she does not realize it. She does not puff herself up and she’ll catch you off guard by being so easy going.
So today after my busy weekend of working and shuttling Mom down to see YN graduate and taking the ex-girlfriend to the airport. I drug out the old red surly and put the cross tires on it, then went for a short ride on the gravel roads around here in rural county Georgia. I took the road bike to the empty bedroom and set it up on the trainer so I could do my training DVD more often. 

I have maybe 10-11 weeks until the fall semester starts. I should ride and run as much as possible around here since money is tight for the summer. Really though I have been lazy for the most part. Talking to Jams charged me up a little and made me hopeful for the future. She has overcome a lot and is still going forward; the question I ask myself is why can’t I do the same thing? I am but as we all know for me down time is hard on me. So once again Jams was wonderful and she did not know it. As usual if I told her how amazing she was she’d look nervously to the ground, put her arms behind her back and smile and say “no…no I’m not” and change the subject in a subtle and intelligent way in a fashion that you would not even know she changed the subject. Thanks Jams you’re a helluva a friend!

Thanks for reading.

Friday, May 17, 2013

What it's like talking to my Mom.

Big Sis and I try, we honestly try with her, in the end when I talk to her for HOURS about her present state and her future I end up at this point.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Ok...ok..another watch

Alright I'm obsessing about a goddamn watch. I KNOW I have no money for one and the best I could probably afford is another cheap timex for work. I remember my old G-shock fondly. I bought it for dirt cheap when I worked stock at Macy's in the early 90's in Phoenix, Az. When I ended up in Guam (long story those of you who know me IRL know the tale) my then girlfriend "borrowed" the watch for her dive job.

It was a bit big for her arm like the face of it at least and the band fit her on the absolute last or next to last notch. But damned if she did not look sexy with that watch on. Still to this day if a woman is wearing a watch a bit too big for her arm and it's cinched up to the last notch on her arm, I find that woman the most attractive in the room. Strange thing I know. It was a fantastic watch, it survived a ton of dives between the both of us. It was also the source of several exchanges of witty banter between she and I. This old gshock in many ways was like our shared relationship jewelry. Eventually this girlfriend and I broke up and I made it a point to keep the watch.

The watch followed me state side and survived many many years until the battery died. Now this is about 10 plus years into the watch's life. I then had the battery replaced then a few years later the battery died again. I had the battery replaced again and unfortunately I lost the watch in the back country on a MTB ride. I was very sad over this turn of events, The watch had logged thousands of miles and had hundreds of dives logged with it. It had went all over the pacific rim and western united states.

So that in short is why I'm so on it about an oversized watch. Yeah they are manly but looking at that watch not only gives me the time and other important info BUT also brings back fond memories. In the end on some nights that's all you got.

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Productive...meh productive.

Those of you who don't know down time is tough for me. Yeah I dream of days when I got nothing to do but in the end I start to go a little nutty and start getting into trouble in various and often creative ways. This week I worked with BIL (brother in law) to cut down a massive tree beside the house at my sisters place. This was total and real man's work....YARRRGH!

Yeah man work at one time we had two gas powered chainsaws going. Then when that was done and we rolled what was left of the tree off the drive way we knocked concrete off of steel posts and carried them up from the creek to the end of the drive way. Yesterday was one of recovery and trying to get ahead of the work load coming up for the fall semester of college. Today was more man work; I busted more concrete off of a couple more steel posts then threw the remnants into the creek.  Was that good enough for me?


I then decided that well the crotch of the tree we cut down was never gonna be split up by younger nephew. Kudos to him he has split 90% of what we cut down although not into small burnable pieces that we can sell or get rid of but hey I’ll split it later when we get a maul. The tree we cut down is red oak and brother let me tell you its goddamned heavy. The crotch of the tree is where the top of the tree split off into three different directions. That being the case everything around this section got chopped off. This left us with an ungainly unsightly heavy ass fucking hunk of angry wood.  That honestly I was not gonna even work on either. I had other plans for that thing. 

I thought it would be a good idea to take it down the trail where the creek is and leave it there for a couple of reasons. One is that is makes for a nice back stop to shoot at and secondly whenever I start to train it will be great to flip end over end 10 times for a set of 4-5 times. I was gonna thrown some strapping around it and drag it down there but decided not to cause it would tear up the yard. It’s too heavy to carry the son of a bitch and we ain’t got a wheel barrow. I flipped it end over end to get it down there and it was neither fun nor easy.  For now I will call this hunk of wood the “Dirty Name” It reminds me of a middle finger in some ways. It was rewarding to get it down there, after some lunch and recovery I may go down there with some targets and shoot Pop’s .22 for a bit.
Don’t worry I’ll study some over the summer; I am just loving the warm weather we got finally here in Georgia. I plan on starting my 5k program again soon and do my horrendous power program on the trainer for cycling, both are 8 weeks long.  I plan on hitting the MTB and Road bike miles before the end of the summer. 

Last night was spent looking at some really neat gadgets and man type things. Feels like I am WAY over compensating since nursing school is becoming more and more of a reality. Har…har …har…

Thanks for reading.

Post Script:
I know my birthday has come and gone but if you like you can get me a desperately needed watch for not only my nursing pursuits but for just all around bad assness

That friends and dear readers is the Sunnto black on black core watch and to answer the unasked question, yes I am compensating.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

The phone

*Spoken in the voice of a young child*
I bought my first smartie phone ever about 2 1/2 years ago. I've really liked my smartie phone. Now it makes me MAD. It crashes it shuts down. I send two texts and the battery dives to 5%. Bad phone baaadddd.

*Now in normal voice*

I should not complain. The phone has done me well over the last couple of years. I've been happy with it but it's time for the phone to go away it's had a fine life. There is a new phone coming iut I'd like to have but it's gonna cost me.I'm due for an upgrade according to my carrier. Here's the thing, I'm broke. Really I am every nickel is nearly accounted for. Plus I got extra expenses this summer, which are buying a study guide for school and taking a short (and damn expensive) class in June, well expensive for me at least. I have the option of working more, I have picked up shifts to four a month now. I'll keep it brief about work, I'd rather not. There are a ton of probs there now on top of the usual stressors. The less I'm there the less it affects me. That simple.

I'm also gonna need a new laptop soon but again that WHOLE money thing. I know I should just wait for loans to come through in the fall but I won't see that money until mid-september. I should just shut my damn mouth and just work a couple of extra shifts. Adult decisions suck!

After nearly a week of being unproductive and sleeping in and reading nothing but over glorified military fiction (brain candy) I decided to be a productive member of society. I did some yard work at my sisters place and some house work in the room. I have been itching to vacuum up here for weeks finally got to it today..eerr...yesterday. Now I gotta go do more of the same at mom's place next week, perhaps friday.

I do wanna get out and start running again. I would like to start back on my Zombie's 5k again and I have time this summer.I made it through 5 weeks and was running 5k by then. It's that whole getting up early thing, that puts a crimp into things. I just need to set my mind to it and start, like the study thing.

This weekend is gonna be a challenge, I have to work today and naturally my stupid sleep cycle is all screwed up so I got 2 hours of sleep. I've been reading for the last few hours and futzing around on the interwebs. Tonight after work will be a party for the Rifles because one of them graduated medical school. Big deal...seriously it's a big deal and I think it'll be good to meet some of the first years and get off to a good start with them, I hope so at least. Then I'm gonna spend the night on the ex-girlfriends couch and jam on down to Mom's place to pick her up so she can spend mothers day down at big sis's place. It's a combo of birthdays and mother's day. Big sis likes having get togethers, no fault in that at all especially since school is not a factor now.

I gotta get my shit together for work so I'm gonna bail. Thanks for reading,

Tuesday, May 7, 2013


This is how my nearly 18 year old nephew says it in a nearly child like tone. It's only a birthday and 18 a big one at that but let's remember a few things:

1. I was born first. It's been MY birthday for far longer than yours. Please stop saying it's your birthday, it's stupid.

2.BirthDAYS are not week long reminders of that it's going to be your birthday soon, believe me we are all very keenly aware and are reminded often that your birthday is in May.

3. Rarely are birthDAYS week long celebrations of having gifts showered upon you or special considerations given. Please stop saying its your birthday for the two weeks leading up to the actual DAY.

4. MY birthday comes FIRST. On the calender you were born a few days (and many many years) after me so SHUT UP!

5. I do not ask for nor do I expect anything for my birthday usually. Especially non-landmark "tweener" birthdays. usually I TRY to let the day pass with as little fuss as possible. When I reach 45 I do expect booze and strippers (seriously I do) and to shoot a .45 hand gun. I also would like any other debauchery I can imagine in my sick mind that would involve various states of undress, altered levels of consciousness due to high levels of intoxicants ingested, women of questionable morals and being outside. I have 2 years to think on it but I'd like for THAT birthday to be just this side of awesome. I'd like more of the same at 50 if I make it. Or maybe I would like to be by myself out on the trail in some remote location in the US and then have the debauchery afterwards.

6. I have a long list of things I would like and actually dream over (new cell phone, new laptop, sunnto watch, being in good shape, Ariane St. Amour or Gina Carano) . Recently I ran across this:


I've said it before and say it again emphatically. Don't it make your dick bust concrete? It's the mercedes benz unimog. It's a fucking monster.

7.Really most of all I just want peace and quiet today. After working hard all semester that's what I want most of all. Will I get it? For most of the day I will at least.I probably should have went camping but the last several days have been rather rainy not good camping weather.

8.I do it admit it would be nice to have a friend call me up and treat me to a few beers at a bar and just enjoy some comradeship but meh...most of my friends in Georgia have either quit drinking or moved away. Smart on both counts.

It's a nice day and today on MY BIRTHDAY all I plan to do is sit around and read my book. I may go through my jump bag and reorganize some things perhaps watch an episode of "Justified" on the laptop. So fear not no booze or strippers of any sort of debauchery. Perhaps in a couple of years.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. If you are reading this here then you can guess that I am working on moving my blog to blogger from here .