Tuesday, May 7, 2013


This is how my nearly 18 year old nephew says it in a nearly child like tone. It's only a birthday and 18 a big one at that but let's remember a few things:

1. I was born first. It's been MY birthday for far longer than yours. Please stop saying it's your birthday, it's stupid.

2.BirthDAYS are not week long reminders of that it's going to be your birthday soon, believe me we are all very keenly aware and are reminded often that your birthday is in May.

3. Rarely are birthDAYS week long celebrations of having gifts showered upon you or special considerations given. Please stop saying its your birthday for the two weeks leading up to the actual DAY.

4. MY birthday comes FIRST. On the calender you were born a few days (and many many years) after me so SHUT UP!

5. I do not ask for nor do I expect anything for my birthday usually. Especially non-landmark "tweener" birthdays. usually I TRY to let the day pass with as little fuss as possible. When I reach 45 I do expect booze and strippers (seriously I do) and to shoot a .45 hand gun. I also would like any other debauchery I can imagine in my sick mind that would involve various states of undress, altered levels of consciousness due to high levels of intoxicants ingested, women of questionable morals and being outside. I have 2 years to think on it but I'd like for THAT birthday to be just this side of awesome. I'd like more of the same at 50 if I make it. Or maybe I would like to be by myself out on the trail in some remote location in the US and then have the debauchery afterwards.

6. I have a long list of things I would like and actually dream over (new cell phone, new laptop, sunnto watch, being in good shape, Ariane St. Amour or Gina Carano) . Recently I ran across this:


I've said it before and say it again emphatically. Don't it make your dick bust concrete? It's the mercedes benz unimog. It's a fucking monster.

7.Really most of all I just want peace and quiet today. After working hard all semester that's what I want most of all. Will I get it? For most of the day I will at least.I probably should have went camping but the last several days have been rather rainy not good camping weather.

8.I do it admit it would be nice to have a friend call me up and treat me to a few beers at a bar and just enjoy some comradeship but meh...most of my friends in Georgia have either quit drinking or moved away. Smart on both counts.

It's a nice day and today on MY BIRTHDAY all I plan to do is sit around and read my book. I may go through my jump bag and reorganize some things perhaps watch an episode of "Justified" on the laptop. So fear not no booze or strippers of any sort of debauchery. Perhaps in a couple of years.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. If you are reading this here then you can guess that I am working on moving my blog to blogger from here .

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