As we march towards the xmas holiday the obligation meter starts to get pegged. Big sis is having her usual thing on xmas. Then there is Oldest nephew who has decided to have his own thing on xmas eve. Naturally everyone wants you to show up. I'm going to agree with my own mother for once and say that frankly I'd rather be by myself than have to drive all over the south side of Atlanta over those couple of days. And I mean drive, I won't get into the logistics of it all it gives me a headache just thinking about it. After the 2nd police check point and the several near misses with impaired or distracted drivers it makes me wonder if it is worth it.
Whatever happened to just chilling out at your own place and having a movie marathon of sorts while getting slightly buzzed on holiday drinks? An old ex-girlfriend is smart like that.
I decided that a possible simple solution is to go camping & mountain biking over those couple of days (24th and 25th) and "forget" my cell phone. By doing that I figuratively stick my finger in my family's eye on the holiday. I don't need to be around a bunch of relatives to feel alone over the holidays I can feel alone quite well all by myself thank you. If I disappeared over a holiday feelings would be hurt and then comes the head splitting hand wringing that comes with family. I have not decided what I am going to do just yet. I frankly want the whole damn mess to be over with.
This hanging over my head explains my increasingly foul mood. I explain it like this. Not only do I work my shifts I also stay at mom's place more and more. Let's face it spending time in the house where your Father died and where your Mother is a shut in is depressing. I cannot cough in that house without getting a knock on the door asking me if I'm ok. There is a whole element to Big sis's place over the holiday that concerns youngest nephew whom I'll start calling Lazy 8. That should explain it well enough when it comes to certain things.
I'm just glad I don't buy gifts anymore. I'd really lose my shit then.
I think next year I will just announce that I'm going camping someplace here in the southeast or say I have to work and just show up on those days and tell the job that I'd rather be there than with family. Why can't we just enjoy each other throughout the year without all this damn pretense?
To sum it up this is how foul my mood is concerning the next 10-11 days:
Yup this had nothing to do with riding, more with the "Head full of weird"
Thanks for reading.