Seems somehow in late June or early July this song pops into my head. You can never go wrong with "X"
I made it through my psych class with hopefully minimal damage. Summer short session courses are not a particular favorite. I had about 2 months until fall classes start up. Down time and lack of money. I'm working a little bit more now to make ends get closer together not meet necessarily.
I have been riding a little more. My thoughts of working on the weekends and holidays is good. I get my local trails pretty much to myself. Early morning, crack of dawn rides are cooler and no one is around like on a Wednesday morning. It's been an absolute pleasure riding the Karate Monkey now even more so since converting to a single speed. I thought I really enjoyed the ol' Kona 26er single speed. Indeed I did but not as much as I love this new set up on the KM. Sure I prob have it geared too easily at 32/22 but I don't care, I'm a soul rider, strava can suck it I'm riding for the fun not to compete.
This week after today the 4th I'll sit down to the study hole again for a couple to few hours a day to try to get up on my chemistry and re-learn A&P then do other smaller EMS related things I want to know again. I'll have time now since apparently despite my most earnest and best efforts my immediate family despises me.
Huh? Wha?
Yup, despite all I have done and the effort I put forth I was told unequivocally where I stood by my own mother. With her harsh words still ringing in my ears I decided that enough was enough and let her and my oldest sister stew in their own codependent juices. With those ties severed I am now free to do as I wish with no worry of how I will fix the latest tragedy or repair my oldest sisters (and her husbands) fuck ups concerning our mother or how my oldest sister said even to me "MY mother" which is fine you can have her.
What immediately came to mind was moving back out to my beloved ColoRADo. Maybe going to live close to friends in NorCal or try a new region of our great American west like perhaps the northwest. I have not decided yet, I'm still sitting hashing out all the pros and cons of any decision. In my older age I have possibly began to learn that I should weigh options a bit more carefully than saying fuck it rolling the dice and hoping it'll all work out. It has for the most part from the fortunate combo of luck and hustle.
Now I ride, study and work. If other things like women fall into place even better, although I seriously doubt it.
Now it's time to get on with my day. Happy Independence Day folks. Thanks for reading.
I know why I can't sleep tonight now this morning. I'm taking this Psych 101 class now see and we have to do a presentation over something we covered in class. I'm not one to drone on about fucking Maslow and Piaget. Nah, that's low hanging easy to reach fruit. Not near dangerous enough
Nope, I gotta poke the beast. Rattle the demon in it's cage.
I doing my presentation on PTSD. Those 3 of you who followed this blog long enough now that now well over a decade ago I witnessed a guy blow his brains out with a large caliber hand gun. Yes it's as horrible as it sounds. I won't go into all the details again. The near constant drinking the self destructive behavior, the friendships I fucked up (still so sorry SSK you tried) the women who's psyches I destroyed (MB and TR are among them) the time I lost to it all, that year and a half I tell people "I don't remember I medicated for part of it and drunk for the rest of it" Honestly still somehow I made it out the other side despite my best efforts. It was really a testament to myself to see how that particular shit show was gonna end.
The beast, the demon used to be this big hulking figure ready to send me into a lump of human goo in a hot second. It was a otherworldly figure that would shake me out of my sleep screaming, give me the thousand yard stare in the middle of an EMS call or have me do crazy things just to feel something. Now a days it's shrunk to small enough to fit in a very tiny cage I keep locked up in a trunk here in the apartment. There are days when I hear it's call and it sends me to the dark hole I knew so well. Hardly a day goes by that I don't think of that horrible snowy morning in ColoRADo where everything I cared for got torn into small pieces by one persons selfish act.
I took this tiny shell of a demon in it's cage put it on my desk and poked at it with a pen for a week until I was ready for it. Then I spent an entire day listening to it hiss at me while I wrote about how PTSD will fuck you up in rather clinical language. The hard part for me to wrap my head around is that I'm gonna be graded on my pain. I'm putting it out there so I gotta be prepared to get smeared with shit I suppose.
I'm up thinking about this, I'm not struggling per-se just hoping that things don't go sideways tomorrow. Wishing once again I had a woman here to hold me talk to me and let me know that really this time too things will be alright. I'm not living in any fairy tale here there ain't no woman to help me make things better. Tonight like nearly every other night I've dealt with this I got me. The person I rely on most...me.
There is a woman out there not too long ago that I was pretty psyched about then like the others she ran away. I'm trying to see what the deal is with her. I'm hopeful, experience has taught me that usually when they turn the corner they're gone. I'm exhausted with dating and getting so close to someone so perfect just to have them bail on me. I'll be alone and that will be ok, you gotta take a shot at the goal, just once though with the perfect woman I wanna find the back of the goal. Women are saying that they're ready for the real deal, when they encounter it, it always scares the hell out of them. I guess they figure they don't deserve to be loved. I guess it's terrible walking through life like that.
So much for hockey metaphors in the late spring in a 2x NHL franchise loser hockeyless town. So Be It.
Let's move on to some better news shall we?
For the first time in a couple of weeks I went for a ride. I've been riding the karate monkey a lot because I wanna be on the pain train some. I met a buddy at Dauset and took him around the easier outside perimeter of the trails. Bren is a cool guy and he seemed to really enjoy himself. It was nice to get him out and riding on his fancy new MTB and get it all dirty.
The eyelids are getting heavy so I suppose it's time to fall into a slumber for 90 minutes or so before I gotta get in the mazdarauder and head into the job.
I missed posting in April so I apologize about that. I was busy getting staying caught up on school and working every weekend. With the mazdarauder's new engine paid for by a now maxed out credit card I've had to work more to make up the difference. I have ridden some more about once a week now always mindful of my elbow and right arm condition easy to not over do it because it does have to last me for another 30 years or so.
I did get the karate monkey converted to a single speed and it's sweet. I had to adjust the singlerator cause the chain kept leaping off the gears. Now I know I know I should have a tugnut on there but well I had a singleator in my tool box and a tugnut costs 30 bucks. The KM is geared at 32x22 because I have not quite gotten use to the single speed again.
The semester is finished and with that comes the blessing and burden of downtime. Blessing because I don't have to deal with class and the hassle of less than enthusiastic younger class mates. The burden comes from not really having a structure to my life now. I have learned over the years that to a degree I do need structure or I fall into a hole of sorts. Don't get me wrong, I love the free time I just know I'll get into some sort of mischief whether that be with getting mixed up with a woman, having a few too many beers or as I am currently doing stuffing my face until I get a food hangover.
I've resolved to be better about free time this summer. I have an EMS type class to go to at the end of the week up in the North Georgia mountains. While I am there I plan on doing some mountain biking and camping. I'm trying to coordinate with my old friend mayday to meet up in Kingsport ,Tn for a reunion of sorts. It's tough to coordinate with her we'll see.
I did sign up for an online class for a month starting 5/18 that should keep me hopping thru the week. After that I hope to take advantage of the new college library to study up on chemistry and other biology related subjects over the summer. I plan to read some of my PHTLS book, read some of the A&P book again and see if I can rustle up a current microbiology book for cheap. A couple hours a day in the library 4 days a week should keep me occupied and focused. Ride, run or gym early and library during the heat of the day.
We'll see how that all works out.
I'm still working on culling belongings. I was able to sell off a large amount of cassette tapes that a buddy gave me. I thought for sure I'd have a helluva time selling them turns out not so much. There are a few left which I'll relist. I'm having a harder time selling bigger items like a Chrome bag I don't use anymore and my Giant Road bike on commission which I don't ride either. Frankly I'm not real anxious to ride a road bike around here a few people have been hit and seriously injured or killed by careless motorist. I have a feeling I'll have to take the road bike to an ebay seller on the northside of Atlanta and have them list it for me. I'm not sure what I'll do with it just yet if it does not sell at the LBS. Shipping bikes is a pain in the balls. I'll continue to sort through stuff in the shed behind mom's place. I just need to say fuck it and get rid of it all instead of wanting to hold onto it for "projects".
That's it for now. I'll try to be better about writing here. Time does pass us by. Thanks for reading.
I'm really just killing time before I have to walk out the door to get to class. I got 15 minutes or so ish. Did a ride yesterday and felt good.the elbow has minimal aches so that's a bonus. Since I sold off the Kona S/S I decided to convert the Karate Monkey down to it's real intended pourpose which is single speed or maybe eventually when it gets cheaper a 1x10. Having bike tools spread all over two counties is not conducive to getting said conversion done. I'll be up at the shed today to get necessary tools (do I have my chain whip still?)
Still have yet to sell my Giant TCR2 if you are interested go to Bluemoon Bikes it's a cool little one man shop in Griffin, Ga. it's a great alternative to the large brand bicycle mega store that hs taken over this side of town. Seriously buy my bike I could use some cash since I had to put an new engine in my truck.
Spring is officially here with yellow pollen all over the damn place and allergies that are managable with claritin. I love that claritin this time of year.
Discovered that my cabinet is falling from the wall of my apartment, last week clogged toliet, a few weeks ago neighbor busting out his own window. What's next?
Have go to mom's today to run errands and try to figure out a repair for a dry wall ceiling which is causing me some stress. I have yet to find a reasonable price small dry wall estimate. I've looked. I also have to move somethings around so family can come in and remove bed in spare room. Exhausted from family drama if I move from Georgia anytime soon it will be because of them.
Everything is about how it should be I suppose. I'm going to school consistently getting on the trail at least once a week.
Friends and dear three readers I have been on the road for the last week. If you wanna see pics check out the instagrams button located above. It was a grand old week with great weather and minimal hassles until the return, I'll get to that in a moment.
I struck out for Augusta, Georgia. I know, I know in the past I have headed for the mountains. Usually I would, in this case I had a class (TECC Trauma Emergency Casualty Care) I wanted to take because of my back ground of being an EMT. I really felt under trained when it came to active shooter situations and shit I got to learn from some high speed special forces operator types. I won't bore y'all with details but I learned some cool ass stuff, had other stuff reinforced and in general made me like being an EMT and start to ponder things in the medical field again. Then for shits and giggles I looked up PHTLS classes and was rewarded with finding a class the following Monday after TECC. I jumped on it of course because I am ALWAYS looking for CE hours. I have not taken PHTLS since 2009 if I remember correctly.
I remembered that FATS was just outside Augusta and it would afford me the chance to ride a really great trail system that I have kept hearing about since I moved out here. I then remembered that Augusta is closely tied to James Brown. That's right the godfather of soul, Mr. Please Please Please himself, soul brother #1. It was also the place where I won my first BMX trophy and a road trip with Pop many many years ago. I figured that since Augusta revolves around one of the most vile elitist "sports" ever (golf) that I should not hold it against that particular zip code and as always just GO!
I had a sorta plan and some free time so I loaded up the mazdarauder and went. I had planned to ride FATS my first day there. The trail gods conspired against me for some reason. The local forest service and trail advocacy group decided that since they got some rain to close down the entire trail system for the ENTIRE week I was there (in fact it's still closed). This absolutely blew my riding and camping options right out of the water. First it was rain and blown down trees and then it was a controlled burn at FATS. My tires never touched the trails at FATS because I'm not local and really who wants to deal with forest service rangers when thy don't have to. I learned last year in Pisgah that although you may not be doing anything wrong talking to a forest service ranger is never any fun in that context.
I scratched my bald head a little and headed over to the closest bike shop to get some beta. They steered me towards Bartram trail and advised on opportunities for stealth truck camping. I even showed off the mazdrauder to one of the locals and went into my philosophy of dirtbag mountain bike trips. I did get a ride in that first day at Bartram. Nice trail and hell I even beat the rain back to the mazdarauder. I ended up staying in that area for the next week in various places dirtbagging in the back of the truck. Man I really saved on hotel bills. I did splurge on a truck stop shower (12.00!!!) because although I was kinda remote I did have enough people around my camping areas to not risk it. Thinking about it now I think in the future I'll lock the door to the bath room and rig the solar shower in the toilet stall for a quick shower in some privacy.
Four days of my seven day trip I spent in a class room. First at a local police academy for TECC then at the local level 1 trauma center for PHTLS. I won't bore y'all with the details of the classes. I had fun and learned tons, I'll leave it at that. Seems like I cannot get enough of class time between college and work related classes. The reward came after classes with camping spots right on the water of the local reservoirs in cool non-buggy weather. Never got rousted by the police or bothered by the locals. Both of which are a definite bonus. Honestly I could get use to that kinda of lifestyle.
After classes were over and it seemed that FATS was going to be closed due to any hint of moisture in the air I went over to Mistletoe State Park. Mistletoe was a good hard ride. Rock dam was off camber bit of trail and there was a funky arroyo there as well. I spent nearly the entire day at Mistletoe swilling beer on the shore of the local lake in quiet cool weather watching nature and reflecting on life in general. Sorting things out if you will.
The real challenge came the next day. I got up early to make it back to bville and have time to sort gear out. Then about 30 minutes the mazdarauder with 182000 miles on it decided to give up the ghost and the engine blew stranding me on I-20 west just past mile marker 169. It sucked. I had no clue the engine having probs. I check and change the oil regularly and stay on top of the preventive maintenance because frankly the mazdarauder has a lot of sentimental value to me because of Pop.
Thank heavens for roadside assistance. I got the mazdarauder towed to a local mechanic who gave me nothing but bad news. The engine needed to be replaced and it would take 10 days. Keep in mind I live about 2 hours away driving time from where the truck broke down. I have a shift on Saturday that I cannot miss because I missed last shift for the TECC class. I had no way but to hemorrhage money.
The mechanic said frankly that I should just walk away from the mazdarauder and get something newer. Because of sentimental attachment to the truck there is no way I'm gonna do that. I also thought on it and new car payments would kill me monthly. Sure, it sucks paying a couple of grand to get the engine replaced but in the long run it's gonna be cheaper. Two to three hundred a month for car payments and the same amount for mandatory full coverage insurance. Say 5-6 hundred dollars a month for a new car that's on the cheap side six thousand a year for 5-7 years. Which would mean more work on top of school. I don't mind work too much but in my profession there is a thing that I've dealt with a lot and that is burn out. I try very hard to live within my salary and means. So that's my justification for getting the mazdarauder fixed, I also wanna put a million miles on it. Really I do, so if this new engine lasts another 180000 miles more is the better. I just hope the transmission does not go out soon, knock wood.
I rented a shitty jeep compass loaded up everything in it and drove back bville. Yup more money hemorrhage. I got back and got drunk while unloading the shitty jeep compass. Why...oh why could it not be a jeep renegade?
I found the upside to the engine episode with not having to worry with the engine again for a long while. The other is that maybe in 10 days that there is a slim possibly FATS will be open if no one sneezes on it. I may just take the chance and ride it and skip my evening west civ class on the 21st.
It was a good trip despite the mazdarauder probs. The weather was great the entire time the locals were wonderfully friendly. I got to see the James Brown exhibit and finally and not least I got to some trail time on the voodoo. As compared to last years spring break trip which consisted of cold rain and horrific arm pain that lasted for months afterwards.
Give me a chance and I'll go for it every time, I'll gamble it because life is meant to be lived and not trapped in a cube someplace. Friends and readers get outside and enjoy life. I'm willing to pay the price.
We're creeping up on mid-terms here soon and that means spring break is right around the corner. All the sunny locales will get post teen drunkards and all sorts of revelry. The red neck riviera, south padre island and lake havasu I'm talking about you.
For the middle aged college student with few responsibilities outside paying the rent other things are planned. As these things happen I had a work related educational opportunity come to my attention. Yes, I plan on getting out of medicine (maybe) sometime in the future BUT well I still enjoy the continuing education classes associated with it. I look for challenging things related to things I like outside of work. Last summer I took another WEMT class and combined that with mountain biking up at Tsali.
I've combined such trips before and it's always fun. Well except for that year I did the NOLS WEMT and went from Steamboat Springs, Co. to Fruita, Co. Steamboat was a hoot. Fruita had potential it was just cold and damn rainy and the people I met up with there were not my kind of folks. Fruita is awesome it's that every trip I've had there ends up all foul. It's me not you.
I digress
I have been scratching around about a class that's work related that covers active shooter scenarios. Unfortunately such situations are more and more common everywhere. I'm a firm believer in the saying "Luck favors those who are prepared"
I found the class but it's in Augusta, Ga. which OK I can deal with Augusta for a day or two then I remembered two things:
1) There are some great trails out there at FATS
2) Augusta has a bit of a history with The Godfather of soul...Mr. Please please please himself. That's right folks James Brown.
So my little shit show will be going on the much beloved road in a week to get edumacated in combat care of the wounded during active shooter scenarios, go mountain biking at the well known FATS trails, swill beer and of course pay homage to the Godfather of Soul.
That's all I got for the moment. Thanks for reading.
1a:
a usually green film formed naturally on copper and bronze by long
exposure or artificially (as by acids) and often valued aesthetically
for its color b: a surface appearance of something grown beautiful especially with age or use
2: an appearance or aura that is derived from association, habit, or established character
Those of you who have read this blog long enough know my ongoing love affair with my 26 inch Voodoo Erzulie. A steel bike that I have had for nearly 20 years, if you're a long time reader or friend then you know the story behind it. For those of you not familiar or you just don't remember I'll give you a quick synopsis.
When I bought this mountain bike I had been mountain biking for several years. I started out on a trek something or another MTB which was sold to me at cost by my old LBS after I got out of the army. "You should do this thing called mountain biking." I did and I loved it. I left that bike behind and landed in Guam chasing a woman who I was deeply in love with. There I had 2 bikes a Cannondale with a headshock and a giant. Nice bikes but let's face it Guam is an island and mountain biking there was a bit of a challenge.
I read about Voodoo bikes in what MTB mags we got there and dreamed of steel bikes. I cannot say what drew me to Voodoo, Joe Murray? Black magic? who knows. I could not get a Voodoo on island unless it was via extraordinary shipping costs. So I waited. Things did not work out between this woman and myself (long story) and I ended back in the CONUS (Contentinal U.S.) a couple of years later sleeping on the couch of a good friend and my tattoo artist, which was of all places in Denver, Colorado.
I came to Colorado for 2 weeks and stayed for 14 years. I saved up from crappy retail jobs and bought the Voodoo from a shop unloading them for cheap because OG Voodoo went out of business. I've had the bike since the mid-late 90's. It's been a commuter and an expedition bike. I've had this bike longer than most any relationship I've had combined. I love this bike.
Over the years I have said I wanted S&S couplers on it, gonna get it repainted and so forth. Even had the money to get it painted up right and have the decals redone. I held to that thought for the longest time until here recently. In this day and age we concentrate on nice and shiny, the newest and latest. Which is all fine and good if you can afford it and not be in debt to it. Trust me I often drool over Velociraptor Trucks and Indy Fab, Moots or Yeti bikes.
Then the other day when looking up a video on how to repair something on the ol' Mazdarauder I ran across a hotrod show where all they did was fix up junk yard finds. The word said over and over again was "Patina" They'd take this car or truck make it a monster of ride. They'd sand it down a little shoot a coat of dull clear over it and call it good. They concentrated on making the car or truck high performance not making it look good. Substance over style.
Since then I've applied that idea to the Voodoo. I had the chance to talk to some guys at the local trails and man they have some great bikes, seriously but the bikes lack character and I will say trail cred even soul. Yes, they can hammer me into paste on a ride which is like whatever for me cause I made my bones long ago under western skies. My point is that no longer am I shooting to have the bike stripped down and shipped off to get refurbished. Nope next time the bike gets stripped down I'm just gonna take it to a local paint place and have them shoot a coat of clear over it and call it good. Then put more bitchin' parts on it.
Patina, in cycling friends that is only something that can be done with a steel bike.
"No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy
the ticket, take the ride...and if it occasionally gets a little heavier
than what you had in mind, well...maybe chalk it off to forced
conscious expansion: Tune in, freak out, get beaten.”
I found this little article over at Manmaiddiy I was reading it while on hold with a financial institution. I read it and thought I could relate some, here's my thoughts on each point.
1. Stop texting and driving. Once and for all. Yeah but what else am I going to do when I am stuck at one of the two dozen plus traffic lights that line my commute to work and home?
2. Give up one social media channel. I only have ONE, instagram. Fuck bookface and twatter. Want probs and weird ass staklers from the past post there. 3. Wake up 30 minutes earlier every day. I got that shit beat, I wake up at 0515 most every morning. 0415 when I work. 4. Quit drinking during the weekdays.I'm an adult if I wanna have a beer or few after a rough day then by heavens I'll do it! Fuck your puritanical ways.
5. Learn to meditate.I need to start doing morning yoga again. Perhaps I'll do this:
6. Send one physical letter or postcard a month. Instant replies are overrated. Indeed I send post cards to my friends out west who don't have restraining orders on me...yet. 7. Get a new plant.I sincerely want to grow my own spices out of a window box. 8. Drink more water.I do, leave me alone. 9. Work at it until you can do a hundred pushups. I did my fair share of those in the Army. I let that shit go.
10. Start a project or commitment that scares you. Continuing college and brewing beer, check. 11. Learn one parlor trick, and use it only when the time is right.Does snide sarcasm count?
12. Get rid of your CDs.Finally. Heavens YES! I am not going to unload them into a landfill though. 13. Don't buy anything for a month. Not even staples like food and gas? I don't buy shit I don't need to impress people I don't like.
14. Take a walk during the workday.That's all I do at work is walk. 14 plus miles every work day.
15. Think about the coolest thing your uncle ever did for you (and do it for your nieces and nephews).I tried and all it got me was heartache and pain. Hockey games, watching sports and action movies buying dinners all sorts of great shit I wish my uncles would have done for me and nothing.
16. Read your local alternative weekly every week.Atl is OK. I'm familiar enough, thanks.
17. Quit doing that one thing where spouse or roommate is constantly requesting change.no wife no wife problems no roommate no roommate problems.
18. Find a new place to volunteer.Bruh, I work in an ER. I give at the office so to speak, what more do you want?
19. When your family asks how your day at work went, tell them the good things that happened. We don't have those conversations. Plus no live in family, remember no wife or kids no wife or kid problems yay! 20. Go see more live music. It will energize you. It always does. Yup, you're right I'll do better. 21. Play more games.That's one of the things wrong with the world, folks always have to play games.
22. Find balance and health in your sex life.No sex life no balance and health in my sex life to find.
23. Take a class.I got that shit in spades, I'm in college bruh.
24. Do a clothing closet purge.Happens about every 4 months now.
26. If you know you messed up, say you're sorry. Apologizing doesn't mean that you lost the argument. It means you're an adult. I've done this in the past. People mistake this for weakness and then the shit storm really starts. I hold my ground now.
27. Compliment people. Every day.I do trouble is that now a days as a middle aged bearded tattooed fellow if you compliment someone they either thinking you are trying to pick them up or stalking in order to murder them. Neither of which I intend,I'm being sincere.
28. Set up a monthly schedule to maintain your investment goods.
Condition your boots. Clean and lubricate your bike chain. I learned this in the military and again in EMS.
29. Stop drinking soda. Mostly cut out except on work days, then it's an excuse to get away from the department for 10 minutes.
30. Say "Yes" to something you wouldn't normally say "Yes" to. See what happens. See 31 31. Say "No" to something you wouldn't normally say "No" to. See what happens. I've done this in the past and continue to this day. Somethings are just out of the question.
32. Quit checking your email first thing in the morning. ESPECIALLY work email. I only check it once or twice a week max.
33. If you want to be happy, the key is practicing humility and gratitude.I'm humble and grateful and so are my friends, family though...
34. Pick a band or musician that you know you're supposed to love but never resonated with you.I'm not picky about music I listen to. Although I did do this with Peaches a few months ago and was rewarded. Thanks Marc Maron!
35. Contribute the max amount to your Roth IRA. If you don't have one yet, this is the year to open one. Bruh, I go to college and pay the rent, I'm lucky to do that.
36. Ask someone else more about who they are. Since I work one day a week I do this with co-workers once in a great while cause they think I'm new.
37. Remember, leadership doesn't make others into followers. It transforms them, too, into people who will change the world. In order to be a good leader sometimes you have to be a good follower.
38. Always have two books on your nightstand. One fiction, one non. Doing that for awhile check. 39. Become a pocket knife guy. Man, those things are useful. Doing that since I was a Boy Scout although I would like to start carrying my swiss army knife again, An old girl friend gave it to me with my name engraved on it, it's nice ya know? 40. Reach out to that one guy from high school or college whom you've been wondering how he's doing. I keep in touch with folks from the old neighborhood , Colorado, work friends and have tried to find one old Army buddy and old room mate with no success.
That's all I got time for today. thanks for reading.
The pic does it little justice. Probably one of the better sunrise pics I ever snapped in Georgia. For some reason seeing this made me think of the band Journey, Specifically Steve Perry era Journey:
now before anyone (who reads this anyways?!) starts spouting off I gotta say that this in my early punk rock/straight edge days that Journey was a very guilty pleasure. I have not listened to this particular band in a very long time and for the last hour I've sat listening to the music trying to decide on the ONE video I was going to post. It was a tough decision and just picked one at random.
A lot of folks like this type of 80's music for the cheese factor, being ironic or some shit. I always liked it (guiltily so at times) Now at the back side of 45 I could give a fuck less who knows. Trust me I got fucks to give and none are handed out too easily, I got standards dammit. So yeah a sunrise made me think of Steve Perry era Journey. I'm a strange person, I remarked to myself that it was odd that my brain made such a leap.
Maybe it was because I was in a funk for the last few days and finally poked my head outside. I couldn't say for sure. Maybe as I get older and older I am just fine with being by myself for days on end and the moment I poke my head out from self seclusion that my mind erupts in wild 80's emotion. The brain is weird anyways...stupid brain.
I have not ridden since last month because of school starting and a busy schedule. I decided during my funk that 3 classes in a semester are a bit much especially when any math is involved. Chemistry I has me doubting myself. I gotta make a C in the class and honestly I'm not ready for the first exam. Scientific conversions got me all fucked up. I'll hang in until mid-term and then drop if I'm not pulling down a solid B. I'll try to get another instructor who is a bit less intense on the math end (so I've heard). So graduation gets pushed back again, Going back to the mountains on a permanent basis is on hold. I know I could rally and pull some alright grade out of my ass (which is the plan for pre-calc and stats) My sciences I want to do good in.
My mind has wandered a bit missing living out west some and having a bit of jealously of folks who are currently living out there currently. I think I just need to get on the bike and ride a little and shake off some of this funk. It's way to easy for me to sit in the apartment and be content with being by myself and justify it by saying "We all need alone time" yup just not that much 'alone' time.
So being self sequestered should have gotten some beer brewed eh? Nope. I don't do it because I'm afraid of failing at it. Fear is a complete and total mother fucker. I drank beers for sure (hung over sunday from Bourbon Barrel Ale)
So what do I do. Keep going. That's all I have done is just keep going.
What does this have to do with sunrises and Journey (Steve Perry era)? It makes this middle aged soul reflect. Sometime ago I heard a pod cast on This American Life called "Plan B". I have moved from Plans A-B-C-D-E and so on during my walk on this path of life. I keep going because I have freedom in my life to do so. No girlfriend, wife or kids. No girlfriend, wife or kid problems to keep me nailed down in a job I don't really like anymore. Really, the only thing keeping me in Georgia is a lease. Earlier it was family obligation now I'm not needed so much if at all.
I continue on with my current plan whatever because I'm closer to the end than the beginning. I just want to get my little Associates in Biology degree, that's all.It's not going to be pretty or even timely but it'll get done. Like journey said "Don't Stop Beilevin' ":
So concludes some 'head full of weird for you.' Thanks for reading.
One day if I ever get around to it I'll make these into postcards and send them off at holiday time
With that out of the way let's crack open a winter beer and stumble forth into the realms of well...umm...something bicycle related. Rainy day projects currently rule the thoughts of BOSAHFOW. I've vacuumed out the mazdarauder and organized the cab of said adventure mobile. Also in the mazdarauder I affixed some waggling finish pieces that have been rattling around. I have yet to rind a proper storage net for the area behind the drivers seat. Yeah Yeah I need to post all those mazdarauder construction pics one day.
I finally got around to making the second of my milk crate panniers:
Now if I can get a proper rack for the front of the cross check I'll have a right nice grocery getter/liquor bitch. Alas such things are not easily to properly rig (for me at least) and rarely are they cheap. I lucked out with the milk crate panniers. I had the milk crates on hand and spent maybe 3 bucks and 15 minutes in the local ace hardware store a few minutes of staring at my bicycle rear rack and wah-la removable multi use panniers.
I drug the tools out and a pair of new brake pads for the voodoo last night. I sessioned the voodoo mechanically fussing with the brakes and adjusting (yet again) the stem height and fiddling eddy merckx style with my saddle. Yet another rainy day project done.
I got around to punching holes into a combat lifesaver course book I printed out and put it into a binder. I figured with all the mass shootings going on as of late knowing a little bit of combat trauma care above what I already know would be a smart idea. Now I just gotta sit down and read it. It's only 200 or so pages long with questions at the end of every chapter. I may be leaving healthcare but it's not reason not to stay up on techniques that may save my life or someone elses in a jam.
Other rainy day projects:
-Switching the underbed drawers around so I can access cool weather clothing more easily.
-Doing dishes
-Digging all the shit out from under the bathroom sink and rediscovering very important items.
-More velcro!
I did finally open my home brewing kit. I promised myself I would brew over the winter break. I browsed the material and will give it a go on Monday. If all goes well I'll have my first batch done by the end of January 2016.
Even though its been rainy I was able to crank out a ride on the Kona single speed the last week and even snapped a great little pic:
I unfortunately cut short my ride because of strange left leg semi cramps. Don't know what that was about. It was a great day to ride and wish my middle aged body was more agreeable that day. I will have to say since I got the instagrams I do take pics more often and notice other things a bit more often. One thing I have noticed is how fat bikes have truly exploded. I believe fat bikes have certain applications like riding in the snow or sand. I get that and understand it especially when it comes to winter riding. I'll even go as far to say that I have fat bike envy when it comes to winter riding in the snow in the winter.
As for seeing them on local trails here in Georgia in 60 degree temps...well...it's a bit of over kill. Yet the heart wants what it wants and you cannot and should not bash anyone one who wants to ride a bicycle even if it is the wrong whip for the current trail and conditions. It's my impression that fat bikes are meant for slow pace riding. Which again I understand and get. Give me ColoRADo snow and a fat bike and well the riding season would be extended just a little bit longer.
Finally the holiday week is here. I'm working the days for a little extra pay. Also have plans on hanging with some old work friends in from the left coast. Dunno what I am doing for NYE just yet. the rainy weather does not look like it'll let up. So I gotta decide on what I'll do with spare time up until the 5th and 6th of January which is when school starts back.
I'll start out with a couple of fave artist as of late. One in particular Peaches and of course Iggy Pop:
I was into some Peaches several years ago after seeing her on the old IFC "Rollins Show" liked what she was doing then as the human condition works I drifted away from her artistry.
Lately I have been listening to the WTF pod cast by Marc Maron. Yeah I'm late to that party, so it goes. Anywho These pod casts really do the job when you're driving an hour from mid-ga to Atlanta on a regular basis. Anywho, Maron had Peaches on his podcast and I again dug what she had to say and how Maron did the interview with a person who is very creative in every artistic vein I can think of currently.
So what's not to like?
The semester wrapped up with me actually passing algebra with a decent non failing grade. With any math I am satisfied with an "average" grade. Biology turned out well which I'm happy with since I totally bombed a lab exam earlier in the semester. I have 6 classes to go until I finish my Associates of Biology. I'm taking a couple of history classes and a chemistry class this coming up semester. I have to decide on how I'm going to divy up my remaining classes like statistics, pre-calc and my second semester of chemistry. I'm closer to the end than I am the beginning. Thank heavens. What I do after that I'll decide later most likely. Possibly move onto a bachelors in biology/science of some sort.
Who knows, certainly not me.
I had plans on riding today and yup it was totally nice, I just could not do it. In my middle age I have learned to listen to my body and my body said:
"Dude, slow down. I'm making you sore all over because you're not taking it easy on you/us."
So I listened, I slept past noon and ate copiously. The plan is to take the S/S Kona out for a nice ride on a hopefully dry trail. I need to ride the single speed a bit more because I was really fighting with myself while riding last week on the voodoo. I really would like to do a north Georgia trip after xmas and over the new years break. I haven't done much planning beyond telling myself "I should" do it. And really it's not much to plan now I just load up the truck and roll.
That's it for the moment more to come over the break. Thanks for reading.
I have to admit that as of late I have been wanting to write. Just in the strange, violent and terrifying ways of the world I get a glimpse of what's just outside my tiny bubble. Then I decide not to write because I'll get all nihilistic and get into being a misanthrope which will result in maximum negativity. Combine that with the current holiday season and well it turns into a sucking blacker than black vortex.
So I don't write.
With that said and knowing my penchant for hating (ahem severely disliking) the last 6 weeks of the year for a multitude of reasons (radical consumerism wrapped up into a tight package of rabid right wing extreme religious piousness and an over all forgetfulness of decent human kindness) I have strove somewhat to be a bit more positive despite my leaning towards the negative in these final weeks of the year.
It all kicked off with the day after thanksgiving and my solo first annualish optoutside black friday ride.
I was rather surprised to see the parking lot of Dauset kinda of full despite the shopping holiday. I set about swilling beer doing last minute adjustments to the Trail Witch and I headed out. There was really no plan, just wanted to ride along on a fine fall day here in middle Georgia. The most folks I saw were near the trail head.
I went to perhaps one of my fave spots at Dauset. It's on the back side on the sandy creek trail. A little while back there was some major trail blockage by some huge trees. The local crew had to drag out the chain saws and clean it all up. Well one of them apparently has a sense of humor and carved this little smiley face. Now I ride by here take a seat on a stump and swill a trail beer. The area needs some more of this trail side art because for the most part it seems to be no huge vistas like what I grew use to out west. I digress though I am thankful for good riding close to where I live. I rode and then rode some more since it had been a long while since I was on the old Voodoo. I eventually made it back to the truck and just sat there and enjoyed the day. I do admit for all my bitching about Georgia it is nice to be able to get out and enjoy a nice mid-60's temp on black friday. Eventually I made it back to the happening bachelor pad I call "home".
Once "home" I enjoyed another small thing I enjoy. Shower beers. I highly suggest you partake and enjoy one. It'll do nothing except make you smile...go ahead I'll wait...
I'm close all so close to the end of a very average semester. I've struggled with math in a grand way to the detriment of Biology. I only have 4 days til the semester over and then friends and two readers I'll be on the trail a bit more often in perhaps other places other than my own local riding spot. I'll close with a video that's a couple of years old. I challenge you not to smile and tap your foot while listening to "I was denied" by Thee Oh Sees:
The performance really reminds me of the fun raw energy of a damn good show. In the last few days I have watched that video quite a bit to remind me all that is good with the world in these violent terrifying weeks. Well onto studying soon...soon...soon I'll be outside.
It's my fave random date and day of the week. Friday the 13th. If it were not for social plans tonight here in the A-T-L I would have certainly went for a ride. In a very small way I'm glad I didn't because I found this creepy little doll that I think someone gave me years ago. She rode on many of my bicycles over the years and eventually I decided for some reason to take her off whatever bike and put her into a tool box.
Well I was rooting through my big ol' tool box in the shed and ran across her on this very day Friday the 13th. I had a buddy tell me that it's "fucking hideous". I admit it's a very creepy little doll, yet not as creepy as a televangelist. Since being told that today I did contemplate putting her on the dash of the truck then decided against it and thought that I should put this little dear back into my tool box for a random self surprise later on.
Anyways happy non-hallmark creepy day that is "unlucky".
Oh and in case you want to mark your calendars here is a list of future Friday the 13ths:
So concludes the "Head full of weird" portion of today's blerg. Thanks for reading.
Yesterday I grabbed the ol' Karate Monkey and headed out to my local trails. I honestly thought with it being mild weather that the lot would be full. Nope, It was only me and a couple of other folks who were passing thru whilst escaping from Florida. It has been rather rainy and wet for the last several days so taking a quick turn on local trails seemed a great idea.
It was.
I had the trails pretty much all to myself. Yes, I scared the shit out of a guy sitting on a stump and yes I saw a couple of hikers. I grabbed the ol' KM because I knew the trails would be slick with fallen leaves and I could not really power up some rooty sections with the R/S/S/S Kona. It was a nice little ride even stopped and drank a frothy malted beverage at a lesser known trail intersection. Which is where I ran into the Florida couple. We chatted for a few minutes they were doing a road trip and they moved on. I finished up my beverage and started down the trail.
I have to say as opposed to some of my fellow single track travelers. I've *knock wood* had very few strange encounters and hardly found any weird stuff on the trail. So imagine my surprise to find (actually ran over) a cell phone in the middle of the trail after a little obstacle. I immediately know it belonged to the Florida couple. I was hoping they'd call it or there would be a number on it I could call but to no avail. I tucked it into one of my zippered pockets and hoped that they would discover their mishap before leaving. I made it a point to head back to the Mazdarauder via the single track in hopes of running into there folks. Still nothing.
Got back to the trail head and the Mazdarauder, changed outta my clammy shammy and put the KM onto the rack. The only other car belonged to someone with a Fla tag. I made the logical leap that the phone belonged to them. The phone also had a little stick on wallet with drivers License and a couple of credit cards. Knowing these folks were on the road doing a trip made me want to make sure I put the phone into their hands. Because I can only imagine losing that shit while out on the road.
I did not have to wait long maybe 20 minutes. As soon as they came into talking distance I told them I found a phone and some cards so what's your name. They gave me the right name and I handed over their gear.
Needless to say they were THRILLED.
The woman hugged my neck and the dude shook my hand with great vigor. Truly they were very thankful for the fortune that smiled upon them. Seriously what luck to have the only other MTB rider on 20 plus miles of trail run across your cellie and essential ID and cards. I was happy to be of help to someone because deep down inside I am an over grown and often misunderstood boy scout.
I would have offered them beers problem was I had only the one and I swilled that one one the trail. I should have gotten contact info because damn if I didn't make a good impression on someone for once. I did neither and more is the shame.
At least there were smiles all around. Thanks for reading.
In case you have not gathered it in the past I really dig the end of October and the very first of November. The 3 days/nights I'm talking about are Devil's Night Oct 30th, Halloween Oct 31st and Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) today Nov. 1st.
It's a fine time of year in Georgia the temps have finally cooled down from the summer swelterfest and the leaves are now just starting to change here in Mid-Ga. in the past I've done a myriad of activities on these days which we I refer to as the "Fall Holy Trinity" I have a personal story as to WHY I love these days, I'll spare you the sentimentality this time though.
I had to work on Friday so well Devil's night was pretty much a bust. It consisted of me making the drive back from the A-T-L back to good ol' B-ville making a quick stop at a growler shop near work. Feest Noel was the beer of choice. I drove home listening to a podcast of creepy stories. Got home washed the smell of work off of me then watched a little of Broadway Empire. blissful slumber soon followed
Halloween started off with a trick. Somehow during the night I knocked the alarm clock off onto the floor between my improvised and multi functional nightstand and floor turning on the alarm. Hopes of sleeping in on All Hallows Eve were dashed. So I spent the morning checking the weather obsessively, working on a project that I finally got parts for and getting my shit together for that nights ride all the while listening to a lot of The Cramps and The Misfits. In general being distracted. I also made sure I was properly caffinated.
The project I was working on is the LED light project. A long while back BIL give me a string of LED lights for the Mazdarauder. With promises of hooking up a switch for the cab/cargo area. Well it never happened and I was stuck with a very functional and useful item I did not know how to make work. I had tried hooking it in to a straight plug right into the wall but well, it tripped the breaker in my apartment which threw sparks and made me do the "Ah fuck" dance. Which is the dance you do when you fuck something up. Fearing electrocution by the wall fairies and lying in the burn unit at work I decided to rethink and research this problem.
Let me add here that I am TERRIFIED of electricity. I've seen some tragic deaths (a couple of which were lingering and painful) to it so let's just say I tend to want to be VERY cautious with the wall fairies.
I researched on how to wire up LEDs on the old you tubes and lo and behold I can buy conversion kits on the ebays for cheap. The happy dance is what I did when I saw the box containing the kit. I wired it all together and let there be light:
I left it plugged in for a couple of hours to see if you know it would catch fire, it did not so I added some magnets I had lying around to hang off metallic surfaces like in my kitchen because it's as dark as the inside of a coffin in there. Also, I can now plug it into my yeti 150 for truck camping trips/adventures.
Later in the afternoon I loaded up the Ol' Karate Monkey and struck out for Dauset trails. Dauset is special for many reasons. First it's close to where I live about a 20-25 minute drive. Next it's a well maintained and traveled set of trails located next to a nature center and finally most importantly on this night is that the trails close at 2200 (10 pm for you civilian types) I rolled into the trail head parking lot close to sunset right when most folks were packing up to leave or returning from their rides. I took my time made sure all my lights worked and hit the trail at almost 1900 (7pm).
I have to interject here that I was a little sad I did not ride the Voodoo. It's down at the moment because I'm trying to get the stem height just right. Bummer I know. The KM is a great choice because it's a damn stable bike. 29er that I've ridden for years. Its a help with aging eyesight and a pitch black night to have a bike that can roll over most anything.
Another unforseen tricks I played on myself was grabbing the wrong map out of the mazdarauder and forgetting my emergency whistle. I really don't need a map at dauset I'm familiar with the area. It's just helpful when I'm on the trail because I don't have the same consistent loop, in the spirit of Indiana Jones I'm making it up as I go.
Oddly enough there was night course being done by the Georgia Orienteering Club while I was there. I saw a few of the points and talked to a few of the folks participating. I saw a few of the check points lots of people at the pavilion there. I've thought about doing the orienteering thing but then I remember the orienteering course from my hitch in the army and decide not to relive that particular time in my life. They were really focused on what they were doing unlike me who was marveling at seeing raccoons, opossums and deer out at night. I even had an owl swoop down into my view over on the #9 trail. Good fun!
I got back to the truck and set about making some dinner and drinking one of my special occasion cold malted frothy beverages from Colorado:
And let's not forget my Ghoul Friend of the night:
While cooking dinner and drinking above beverage I had a guy and his girlfriend pull up and ask directions to the local haunted house. Without missing a beat I told him I did not know about any haunted house but I had just heard a radio report of a deranged mental patient roaming the area. He and his girlfriend laughed nervously but left in a bit of a hurry. The cops never showed up. It was said in the spirit of good Halloween fun.
I wrapped up and headed home while listening to The Cramps (rockin and reeling in Auckland New Zealand) and then to a fave pod cast Dirt bag Diaries edition of Tales of Terror.
So ended the all hallowed eve.
Today is Muertos. I would normally go to Pop's grave and drop off some stuff there in remembrance unfortunately I have to study for an algebra exam tomorrow. I feel awful that I did not spare the time to do that today, I should have woke up early to do just that or not write. Instead I lazily slept in. I'll make it up there this week and lay my remembrance down then.
My next "holiday" ride will be Black Friday. REI is doing a great promotion which hands down I totally agree with:
Working retail for many years soured me to 'black friday" and now over the years since it seems like Thanksgiving is no longer a day off for most of the retail workers I give a hardy salute to REI for not giving in to corporate greed and letting most of their folks on this holiday of consumerism. From what I gather all retail locations will be closed. Weather depending I'll be down at the trail:
Alrighty I finally succumbed to the pressures of social media and have an instagram account just look up and to the right for the clickie badge.
Hopefully that makes all 4 of you happy. As my fave month press on towards the most awesome holiday ever (that being Halloween) I have had the chance to go on a local ghost tour with a woman who also finds this up coming holiday just as interesting. Unknowingly the "medium" who was guiding said tour doomed me.
"Oh..." This medium says as we are standing in a local cemetery on this tour. "...there is a little old lady standing next to you, she says you have a kind soul." This tour guide/ medium turns towards my date and asks "Is he a kind man?" This being our second date she says "As far as I know, yes." This tour guide/medium goes on to say that the little old lady ghost that is standing next to me says there is a "goal out there for me to achieve you just don't need to be afraid to achieve it."
I go on these tours to hear the history, dig the creepy vibe and if I'm lucky spend some time with a attractive woman who is of the same mind. Not to be cold read by a "medium" I'm a skeptic of such things. In the past on other such tours I have been told the same thing. that I have a "kind soul"
Unknowingly this tour guide/medium doomed my second date to end with a fizzle so to speak. Damn her "kind soul" comment.
My date looked fantastic, was great company and smelled awesome...I just wish the guide said something like "Why are so many ghosts following you around?" Just saying it would have worked out in my favor a little more.
Sigh so it goes in my dating life.
On to bitchin' fantastic news:
It only took a tad over 6 years. I finally got my hands on my fave seasonal beer Isolation Ale. Odell brewery does not distribute east of Mississippi so since leaving Colorado I have been sad not to have this beer. An old work friend who was doing contract nursing work up in Wyoming was headed back to Georgia and made a stop or two in Colorado. He remembered how I have lovingly mentioned this beer (and my occasional text asking him to do me a righteous solid by getting me some of this fine brew) I have swilled some of this beer. I confess it is as good as I remember it.
As for riding I have been getting out most every Thursday to ride for the last few weeks. I have been riding the good old Kona single speed (R.S.S.S.) Rigid Steel Single Speed. It's been great fun. I went by Mom's and got the Karate Monkey for some more MTB fun later on.
Well time is short and I have school projects to get to. Thanks for reading.
Well, I don't know why we come here Guess I just needed the bang We walk in the beef, and then we pull on the rope And then the, then the hammer comes down
Cables Cables Cables
So I guess they know I'm not no company man But I can pull on a rope, I can kill a cow Slow as any other fucker can
Cables Cables Cables
A little while back Dave-O gave me a shit ton of old cassette tapes which both thrilled me and made me want to strangle him as well. As Dave-O tells it to me I had a pretty big influence on his musical tastes. He and I went to a ton of shows together in the mid-90's before I moved out west to Phoenix and beyond.
There are some real gems in this collection of old cassettes. Among them is a personal fave Big Black's "Atomizer" It is a thick with solid jams that gets the blood pumping. It brings back a lot of memories of adrenaline fueled nights heading to a local show to see what kind of trouble I could stir up.
Fave lyric:
'So I guess they know I'm not no company man...'
This one sentence wraps up my entire professional life no matter where I am in my career. THEY know I'm not going to be in the inner circle no matter how hard I try. I can do the job as well as any other fucker can. So eternally I'm on the outside looking in which I've made as much peace with as I can. I've accepted it.
The temps are finally getting cooler here in in the Empire State of the South. I got a couple of bikes with me. The Cross Check is now back and doing commuting duties to campus, grocery & liquor stores and every other place in between. I slapped the old topeak rack on it with an old busted pannier. I need to get my hands on some spare 700 c tubes although I have super thick tubes in it already. I got the Kona S/S here too. It was doing commuting duties it just did not seem right to have it doing that. I have been wanting to get back on single track. It's been tough getting over to Dauset with the school grind. Maybe this evening. It's be the first time I've been single speeding in a few months.
In other bike news I need to get it together to sell my TCR C2 giant road bike. It's tough parting with it because I worked my ass off and took a fair amount of shit from the bike shop owner getting it paid off. I worked at the shop so you can imagine that every time I walked in with a cuppa joe from the coffee shop next door I'd get a goddamn ear beating:
"Oh you bought coffee today, well I'm glad you can spend 5 dollars (actually it was a buck cause we had an understanding with the coffee shop owner) on a cup of coffee instead of paying off your bike. At least that son of a bitch next door is getting paid."
Fucker.
Anyways I don't ride it much and actually it's spent more time on a trainer than on a road. I need the money because of certain unexpected expenses like truck problems. I just got to get it together to put the damn thing on my rack and drive it back down here and over to the LBS.
