now before anyone (who reads this anyways?!) starts spouting off I gotta say that this in my early punk rock/straight edge days that Journey was a very guilty pleasure. I have not listened to this particular band in a very long time and for the last hour I've sat listening to the music trying to decide on the ONE video I was going to post. It was a tough decision and just picked one at random.
A lot of folks like this type of 80's music for the cheese factor, being ironic or some shit. I always liked it (guiltily so at times) Now at the back side of 45 I could give a fuck less who knows. Trust me I got fucks to give and none are handed out too easily, I got standards dammit. So yeah a sunrise made me think of Steve Perry era Journey. I'm a strange person, I remarked to myself that it was odd that my brain made such a leap.
Maybe it was because I was in a funk for the last few days and finally poked my head outside. I couldn't say for sure. Maybe as I get older and older I am just fine with being by myself for days on end and the moment I poke my head out from self seclusion that my mind erupts in wild 80's emotion. The brain is weird anyways...stupid brain.
I have not ridden since last month because of school starting and a busy schedule. I decided during my funk that 3 classes in a semester are a bit much especially when any math is involved. Chemistry I has me doubting myself. I gotta make a C in the class and honestly I'm not ready for the first exam. Scientific conversions got me all fucked up. I'll hang in until mid-term and then drop if I'm not pulling down a solid B. I'll try to get another instructor who is a bit less intense on the math end (so I've heard). So graduation gets pushed back again, Going back to the mountains on a permanent basis is on hold. I know I could rally and pull some alright grade out of my ass (which is the plan for pre-calc and stats) My sciences I want to do good in.
My mind has wandered a bit missing living out west some and having a bit of jealously of folks who are currently living out there currently. I think I just need to get on the bike and ride a little and shake off some of this funk. It's way to easy for me to sit in the apartment and be content with being by myself and justify it by saying "We all need alone time" yup just not that much 'alone' time.
So being self sequestered should have gotten some beer brewed eh? Nope. I don't do it because I'm afraid of failing at it. Fear is a complete and total mother fucker. I drank beers for sure (hung over sunday from Bourbon Barrel Ale)
So what do I do. Keep going. That's all I have done is just keep going.
What does this have to do with sunrises and Journey (Steve Perry era)? It makes this middle aged soul reflect. Sometime ago I heard a pod cast on This American Life called "Plan B". I have moved from Plans A-B-C-D-E and so on during my walk on this path of life. I keep going because I have freedom in my life to do so. No girlfriend, wife or kids. No girlfriend, wife or kid problems to keep me nailed down in a job I don't really like anymore. Really, the only thing keeping me in Georgia is a lease. Earlier it was family obligation now I'm not needed so much if at all.
I continue on with my current plan whatever because I'm closer to the end than the beginning. I just want to get my little Associates in Biology degree, that's all.It's not going to be pretty or even timely but it'll get done. Like journey said "Don't Stop Beilevin' ":
So concludes some 'head full of weird for you.' Thanks for reading.
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