I have not written here in a couple of monthsish, which is obvious the primary reason was that I was busy with nursing school. Which brings me to my "realignment". After a lot of thought (and I mean A LOT) I decided to drop out of nursing school. Which at first glance is quite a shock. There are a number of reasons why I did so. My grades were ok and I was not in trouble or anything of the sort. I was not asked to leave the program nor was I thrown out. I agonized over it a great deal the last two weeks before our mid-term. I decided that in the proverbial sense that my the headache will stop hurting once I stop hitting myself in the head with a hammer or brick or blunt instrument of your own choosing.
It boiled down to me being burned out with patient care. I enjoy caring for patients and love what I do. I'm really just tired of the grind between work and school. I also came to the realization that because of my extensive back ground in the ED I'll never get out of the department no matter where I work and no matter the level of my education. Some would say that's not a bad thing at all. Brother let me tell you for me at least the juice is not worth the squeeze anymore.
Over the last several shifts I have had some rough experiences with patients which quite frankly have scared me. It has brought back to my consciousness something I have thought for a long while now. Which is if I don't get out of the ED soon something very bad will happen to me. I have brushed against bad luck a bit too often now and remember vividly what happens when things go VERY badly in my work place. Unlike most jobs I am under constant threat of serious injury or death every time I clock in. I'm just talking about the elephant in the room. I have been told that lightning never strikes the same place twice. IT DOES. The only way to avoid that is by not being there.
I have cut way down on my shifts, although here soon I'm going to be picking up more shifts just to pay bills and save up to travel. I hate that and I'm very reluctant about it. I'm actively looking to leave the department which is frustrating because every job I have applied for within the hospital I've been turned down for and that is now a dozen positions applied for that I was qualified for. I had a close friend rake me over the coals for dropping out of nursing school. Which to his credit he called a spade a spade, I'm being a crybaby about it. His argument was get through nursing school and get a floor nursing job then go from there. The problem is that as a male in a female dominated profession no matter where I am at I'll get thrown into the jackpot no matter what. Also, despite a potential nursing degree, I now have an extensive back ground in the ED & EMS which really pigeon holes me. I've toiled over this ad nauseum.
So what do I do now? Well, the last month I have had a lot of free time on my hands. It's allowed me to catch up on a couple of projects. Like finishing up my storage for the truck (pics soon I promise!) and catch up on fun reading. I've kept quiet and been contemplative which is why I have not written here. The big question is will I return to college. The answer is YES. I won't do nursing any more. I am looking to get an associates of science and then a bachelors of science after that. I've contemplated going after an interventional cardiology tech certification, maybe I'll do forestry, maybe I'll brew beer. It's nothing set in stone, I just know I'm not wrong continuing college.
In January I'll take a biology course and an algebra class and go from there. Prob starting in June I may decide to arrange my shifts so I can take a couple of months off to be a mountain bike bum and head out away from Georgia. That's one reason I have been pushing to get the truck done. I got the cab finished all the way. I have other plans for the truck just too many to list here because this entry has gotten a bit long. I'll post those thoughts another day. Well that's it for now. I return back to BOSAHFOW regular blogging. Thanks for reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment